My Testimony

I first gave my life to Jesus when I was just 3 years old. I can actually remember exactly where I was standing in the kitchen when I asked my mom about Jesus. Since then, I have found myself at the altar many times, a few times to rededicate my life to Jesus and some others to seek the Lord to do a greater work in my life. As I grew up, I stayed dedicated to the Lord and his ways. He helped me as I struggled to find my identity and overcome impurities in my life. Right after graduating high school, the Lord taught me a lot about loving people. As I went off to college, I was fired up and ready to take the world by storm. I had a lot of success in college and only a few disappointments. I met my husband in my college years and we were married shortly after I graduated. After graduation, I started my career as a Middle School Math Teacher. During that first year of teaching, everything externally seemed to be going great, but I felt so restless. I kept sensing that God was calling me to something different. I wrestled with the fact that I had just spent 4 years studying to be a teacher and now I was feeling called to leave that all behind. After that first year, I decided to pursue the call that God had on my life to speak, and teach others his word. I went to a conference called She Speaks, where I felt like I was faced with the most pivotal decision of my life. Was I going to keep going forward with my plans or truly surrender my whole life to Christ? The weight of this decision fell so heavy on me and was truly overwhelming at the time, but I decided to whole-heartedly surrender to Jesus. I had some great opportunities to live out God’s call on my life that next year. My husband and I also found out that we were expecting our first child. Everything was going great! About three and half months into my pregnancy, I started to experience complications. These complications ultimately led to the birth of our son Samuel three months early. He was so tiny, but so strong! His little life was truly a miracle. We prayed and sought God’s healing for our son every day I was pregnant and every day of his 19-day life. Despite all our prayers and faith, Samuel now lives in heaven with his Heavenly Father. This season of my life wrecked me like nothing before. I really had it easy up until this point. The days and months that followed left me questioning God and questioning my own faith. I experienced so much pain, sorrow, and fear. Yet, there was this inner resolve within me that I would not walk away from God. I truly believe that the commitment I made just one summer earlier enabled me to trust in God even during such a desperate time. As I look back on this time, I know that it was a simple prayer that brought me through, “Lord, please guide me through this healing process.” I can now honestly say that I enjoy life again and that I have so much hope for my future. Moving forward, I realize that this season of my life was not just hard due to my circumstances. The circumstances also exposed several sin areas in my life: pride, fear, control, and self-righteousness. Not only did I need Jesus to heal me from the pain, I also needed him to transform who I was to be like him. I have truly learned what it means to trust Jesus and allow him to work in my life. I now know what it means to not live by what I feel, but rather by the truth of God’s word. I also know that we all need God, especially me!